the meeny teeny mini...
i don't know what is happening to me today. suddenly feel so stress up after school ends. feeling so tired but there is so many things for me to complete. there is the econs tutorial which is due on wed, law which i have to find a total of 10 mewspaper articles and crm which i have to find more info on. anyway, today's lesson was fine except that i wasn't really concentrating. the first lesson was els lecture and luckily it is just 1 hour. after that was internet web design and i didn't listen to the teaching cos i was sitting in class transferring songs into my lappy. haha... it is so strange that the teacher never reprimand us for not concentrating especially when the earpiece is in my ears and so many of us was sitting there moving the mouse. it's so obvious that we am not listening to what he is saying lor. then it was law tutorial and mrs lee went through the the tutorial questions with us. it was so funny when she is saying stuffs about the princess hours dramas. haha... everything ended at 4pm and we waited for 1 hour before went to BE meeting. it lasted for 1 hour plus and it's home sweet home. haha...but before going home, went to the clubhouse to meet xiuli and clarice and brandon was also there. so went home with them!
sometimes, i just feel so left out. maybe it's because i am not as good as everyone else. or am i just being an 'extra' in a group. i don't know and i don't wanna know. this is making me feel so complex! why am i always feeling this way? someone, please please help me get out of all this mess that i am in now... maybe it's just better if i never choose what i have choosen! i am so scarce that i will be hating the things that i have always been looking forward to...
trying so hard to reach out but when I'd try to speak out, felt like no one could hear me. wanted to belong here but something felt so wrong here, so I pray I could breakaway...
"SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THE HAPPENINGS!"
10:49 PM
the truths and the lies...
a tiring day. today, went to the water campaign in the morning which was organised by the Green volunteers from BE. it was fun cos we get to go to about 10 HDB flat units to do surveys and so we get to see the designs of the house. the units that my group visit, some HDB flats have really nice designs lor. haha... It was the first time that i ever go around HDB flats like that. i like my group cos i know all of them. haha... they are huiyun, sabrina and chinwei! i think i will be totally sian off if my group involve those that i don't know. oh ya, i get to shake the health minister's hand today. haha... it's because he is the guest-of-honour for today so everyone of us have to go up on stage to receive our certificate. but actually the envelope that they give, inside was just plain paper that we have to return back after coming down on stage. haha...so interesting! the water campaign ended at 1+pm and after that, eileen and me went over to causeway point to meet tinghui and hamizah cos hamizah have invited us to her house to celebrate hari raya. after that, weiliang also came to join us. went up to her house and all of her family members was there. they are really nice!! they prepared mee rebus, lontong and hotdogs for us. however, i have to leave early to meet my family at marine parade to eat dinner. so left the place after about half an hour and i am feeling so paiseh for leaving so early. haha...but anyway, hamizah thanks for inviting us. rushed over to marine parade and the weather is so strange. when i left, woodlands was raining cats and dogs but when i reached to the central side, the floor there is dry. so weird lor! i am the first family member to reach and i am so relieve. haha...cos i won't get blame already cos most of the time when i meet for family outing, i am always the lastest one. hahaha... i have very bad time management ! went over to the steamboat shop and i am very full now! but it is worth it cos one adult cost $10 and it is some form of buffet lah. take and take and take. haha...
there are so many tutorials for me to do this weekend. law and econs and these two subjects are going to kill me! so difficult lah...thinking of this really spoil my weekends! haiz... hope i can manage to get through this tutorial.
don't care if people are treating you invisible. if they are not treating you as good as the others then just let them be. you can't possibly change what they are thinking. tell yourself that you don't give it a damn and let everything goes accordingly. life is just so unfair!! many thoughts are running through my head now..
"A WORD OF CONSOLE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING..."
10:34 PM
the communication breakdown...
i am so tired today. had 6 hours of lecture and 1 hour of tutorial. i think it's a bit too much already because my brain simply can't absorb so many things inside. so during the end of the day when we were having our ELS lecture, so many people are talking and not a lot of us are concentrating. haha... who ask our ELS lecture to be scheduled at the end of the day. muahahaha! so after school, went to take bus to clementi mrt station with tinghui, jason and weiliang. didn't go home with eileen because she have BE meeting today. went to take train back alone and the journey back is real horrible because train today is extremely squeezy. was trying to grasp for breath inside lah but still got so many people coming in and i was pushed around here and there like hell...OMG! please,please next time don't let me experience this again!!
"IT IS NOT SURPRISING THAT EVERYONE ARE TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED..."
swensen's chocolate fondue
me, tinghui and hamizah(eileen is helping us to take this pic..haha...)
9:40 PM
the other side...
went back school for comm toolkit just now. class was suppose to start at 3 but meeted early for lunch and also discussion for the project. was suppose to meet up with christina and xinzhi first for lunch before meeting dewei. therefore, meeted with eileen first to go to school together. but after reaching school, i received message from both of them that they can't join for lunch cos they have something on. OMG! at that point of time i was like how can you all panseh me!! hahaha...luckily, huiyun and xiuli was still in school so they came over to accompany me. thanks alot girls...really grateful to you all!! will treat ya all next thur to drinks...hahaha... class today was quite boring and we brought our lappy for nothing cos last minute, teacher called us to do the quiz at home...haiz!! so after comm class, went for the personal skincare and hygiene talk which me and eileen have sign up for. i think most of the people went because there was cca points. haha... it was quite interesting and lasted for only 1 hour. tomorrow will be such a long day with so many lectures going on. hope i can survive in there without falling asleep. hahaha...
"BEING HURTFUL IS JUST SO PAINFUL..."
9:57 PM
the unforgettable moments...
suddenly have the urge to change blogskin cos find that the previous blogskin is quite plain. hahaha...so today, went vivo city again. muahahaha!! went with tinghui, eileen, hamizah, jason, ivan and weiliang. there is nothing much to shop cos the place is just fulled with shops and we don't know which shop to enter into. therefore, we just walked around and then we went into swensens for ice-cream. yummie,yummie!! hahaha... shared chocolate fondue with tinghui and it's delicious especially when u dip the brownies inside the chocolate, it's simply so shiok lah...LOL!! the cost is quite okay cos it cost $16.80 for a two person share. so after that, went back home with eileen and i am feeling so sleepy now!!
how i wish all the worries will just vanish in the air!! nothing more to worry about and don't need to care about what others are thinking. sometimes, it's just so hard to know how they feel. more negative thinkings are coming up in my head!!
"HUMAN'S THINKINGS ARE SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND!!"
10:28 PM
life is not beautiful at all....
today was never ever good. went out with family to chinatown to walk, walk. but then mum had to go to some book fair which ends today so we have to leave early and come home early. so sian lah! whole day was so boring, nothing special to do! just feel so moody the whole day! anyway, yesterday was fun. have class as per normal and after that was BE meeting. met up with carol first and we went to canteen 1 and she ate mee siam. then after that, huiyun came join us and she told me that she met charmain, xiuli and brandon and they plan to go orchard. so, immediately after the meeting, we went over to orchard to meet them. we went to have our dinner first and then they came over to find us. soon after, clarice also came to join us. actually wanted to go watch movie but then the movie time is either too late or some of us have already watched it. so we decided to go the top storey of cinne where they rent out rooms and dvds to let people enjoy. haha...first time knew that there is actually such places in singapore. but the rooms there are small and the six of us have to squeeze inside watching the movie. we chose to watch helen, the baby fox as they say that it was soo touching. comments to the movie was, it is really touching and the girls inside all cried except me. haha... cos during the sad part, my tears was about to drop when i turned around and saw everyone crying already and suddenly i just feel so funny. so i took tissue to let them dry tears. haha... but the outing yesterday was fun!! enjoyed it alot. today's public holiday end so fast and tomorrow will be school day again. hope everything turns up fine tomorrow!!
again, thursday is coming. but i just don't feel quite good about thursday!! i also don't know why. hope this week just pass faster as there is just so many things that i am not looking forward to coming up.
"EVERYTHING IS JUST NOT TRUE BUT I CHOSE TO BELIEVE IT..."
10:14 PM
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today was soo fun...haha! went k-ster to sing. it was so shiok and i found out that people in npstrings can really sing. muahahaha... but it was abit ex cos it cost about $18 for 4 hours. haha...maybe it's because of the public holiday that they are charging so ex. after singing, went eating porridge at chinatown. yummy,yummy!! the century egg porridge was delicioussss!! then went vivo city with huiyun, charmaine and jason. so many people was there and the shopping center is really big but then actually i expect it to be much bigger one. haha...too high expectations already. but the view outside was nice and the sea breeze was just making me don't want to go any place else lah. haha... but we went over to mac to sit down and have a chat. it was quite fun cos jason was telling us so much about his life experience and the things he said is so exaggerating but it did actually happen in real life. time really flies and by the time we left mac, it was 12am already. the suay thing is, when we reach the train station, the last train has just left. so no choice but to take cab home.
something suay happen to me today. haha... i tripped over the table after having finish my lunch. the most suay thing is my slippers fall apart when i tripped. so i have to buy a slippers last minute lah. have to drag my old slippers from level 6 down to level 1 to get another slippers..it was so paiseh but luckily no one notice. hahaha...
suddenly have the urge to go overseas. LOL!! just now there was so many people in harbourfront ferry terminal carrying big big luggage. so envious of them lah! can go overseas one. i also want!!
"IS TIME REALLY THE REASON BEHIND EVERYTHING?"
2:11 AM
break the ice!!
today, went school for my IS modules which i have been worrying for a long time. my class was okay but i am quite afraid of the modules cos it requires a lot of presentation. why must NP have IS...haha... hope everything will be fine for the whole of this semester. we had our groups and my team members are christina, dewei and xinzhi. they are nice and also jokers. LOL!! hope we can break the ice well. haha... school is still so boring. nothing much to blog about. shall post photos now...muahahah...
"WISHING FOR MY LITTLE DREAM TO COME TRUE!!"
9:07 PM
i am loving it~~
2nd day of school was okay. had our law lecture and client relationship management lesson. the lecture was quite funny cos while the lecturer was introducing stuffs about the module and she is also crapped some jokes. it was not so boring compared to other modules. hope that it will be so interesting for all the lectures! then after law, we had two hours break and we went to bukit timah market to eat lunch. i ordered carrot cake but it was quite horrible for me. it don't taste nice to me or maybe i am just too fussy already..hahaha... after that was crm and again, it was introduction to this module and we had a sample on how a problem-based question should be solved. the question given was quite funny and the story that our grp had was quite gross. LOL!! so overall, today was okay for me and hope that the following days would be better ba...
i am so looking forward to tomorrow cos lesson will end at 11...haha...actually it is suppose to end at 12 but there is no tutorial we only have to attend lecture till 10. but cos next week is a public holiday, so we have a make-up lesson for crm for 1 more hour. hope the lecturer don't hold us back for too long...
"NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE THOUGH I HOPE THAT IT WILL"
9:20 PM
positive thinking...
"i miss npstrings"
family concert is over. to me, it was a success becos all of us did better than what we have did during rehearsals. though not people attended the concert, but we did our best to perform! during the end of the concert, the results for our evaluation was announced. was surprised when i get a merit cos my name was announced quite at the back so i was telling huiyun i think i failed cos my name not announce yet. hahaha...but luckily scored not quite bad. had so much fun memories during this period from preparing the concert till the day we had the concert. i will seriously miss all of them cos we spend most of our holidays together and i must say that it was so fun... hope we will get to meet up soon. took so many photos...hahaha...will upload it soon when i get the pics from huiyun!!
school has started and everything is back to per normal. everyday going back to school for lectures and tutorials. it's so boring and i don't really like the modules that i am having this sem. heard that there will be so many presentations for us and i seriously hate presenting. today, we had our first electrical system lecture, internet web design lesson and law tutorial. the lecture was so okay it's just that there was many physics for us to learn. then the iwd lesson was boring cos sometimes i can't understand what the lecturer is speaking. we are so blur when the lecturer is speaking. haha...then the law was funny cos the lecturer ask us to intro ourselves by telling her one thing that is good about us. all our answers are so funny. hope that it will be fun when having her lessons.
maybe i am just not used to it. i am starting to hate thur now. how come i just can't find any one who is in the same IS class as me. i don't wanna be alone in a class full of strangers. i will feel so weird inside!! hope the people in this class are nice if not my thur will not be beautiful at all every week during this sem which is when i have to endure for about 2 months. pray hard everything goes well for me!! :)
"YOU WILL ONLY LEARN TO TREASURE IT WHEN EVERYTHING IS GONE!!"
8:31 PM
life is just so realistic...
so long never blog already...haha! been going back to school since the day i came back from camp cos have to practice for the concert. but enjoy it cos during these few days, went ice-skating and watch the movie "you, me and dupree". went ice-skating on tue and so many pple went too. it was kind of terrible for me cos i keep on falling down and i seriously need someone to be by my side holding me so i won't fall down. haha...but it was fun when u have master the techniques of skating though till now i still haven... LOL!! then wed, went watch the movie with huiyun, valerie, frans, yongkang, clarice and charmaine. the movie was okay but i feel like sleeping during some parts of the movie. before the movie, we went to shop around and we went into a music instrument shop at esplanade. there was so many violin there and the shop people is so good giving all of us one cleaning cloth which costs $7... he's so good lah...haha... so after the movie, went back school for evaluation. it was so horrible cos we have to go in to be evaluate one by one. did not do well cos the remarks getting back from my playing was negative. just hope i can pass it... i don't want to remain being a freshies. hahaha... tomorrow will be the family concert! so nervous now...i am so scare i will get stage-fright or i will play wrong. hope everything goes well for all of us!! let this few months of practice be a success for us!
am i treating pple in the correct way?? maybe i am doing things in the wrong way but i really don't know how to change. life seriously sucks at this point of time especially when the new term starts. i am not looking forward for it anymore! let everything end here fast please!! sorry here to someone whom i have been feeling guilty to...
"THEY ARE NOT CHILDISH ANYMORE BUT THEY ARE NEITHER NAIVE..."
10:06 PM
blurish me!!
finally back from the 4 days 3 nights nps camp...it was tiring but fun especially when we were playing games. i slept for about 20 hours yesterday after getting bak from the camp. now wake up feeling so sick and blur... the first day nothing much except playing some ice-breakers games and practicing violin. can't slept so played 'taidi' with the rest. have to thanks valerie for teaching us.
then second day, we went dirty playing games. got wet and was splashed flour and butter. but it was fun cos nv kanna dirty playing games before. hahaha... second day, really slept through the nights cos all of us was feeling so tired.
then third day, we walked around the school at night cos played murderer games. it was not very scary cos most of the lights was on but was so tiring with all the running. imagine being in a group with all guys except two girls. of course, the guys will be all chionging and so the girls will also have to follow. after playing the games, we played sparkles and it's the first time i saw the rocket. it was so nice when there was so many pple making it and we was like rocket here rocket there then going everywhere to watch it. it was in the morning after the games end. so we went bathing and went to the music room not sleeping at all. we played games and then one of the alumni guy shared ghost stories with us. it was quite freaky but didn't think much about it cos i was there dozing off already. haha...
after that, went up to the dorm to pack our stuffs and me and huiyun fell asleep for one hour. it was so funny when they tried waking us up cos when zhenqi and karsweed was trying to wake us up, we was sleeping like logs and we can't hear them. they called us for so long and even intend to put toothpaste on our face to wake us up. i think all of us was really tired after the camp. then it was home sweet home...
''TIME ALWAYS PASS FASTER WHEN YOU ARE ENJOYING IT...IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!"
12:23 PM
i am seriously so disappointed!!
went back to school just now...actually was to reach early to help up with the deco, but ended up chatting all the way cos zhenqi asked her friend down to help. so we just sat there talking and talking. haha...so nice of her friend lah and they knew each other when they were in primary school. OMG! come to think of it, i think i have lost contact with most of my primary school friends already...LOL!! so after that was practice and we met another instructor. she was nice!!
just now was so pissed off but now feeling okay already... i must just admit the fact and don't brood over it anymore. since things are going this way, then just let it be as nothing can be forced to change...but i must say that i am so disappointed. haiz...i just can't believe that this is happening. why, why, why? most of the time, i am the one encountering this types of problems... haiz...hope everything will goes off fine!!
haiz..don't know izzit because just now the mop accidentally touched my leg that i am getting so suay...haha... i think i am too superstitious but at times it is normal to get superstitious...LOL... hope that i am just thinking too much... hahaha...
"IT'S BETTER NOT TO EXPECT SO MUCH AT TIMES AS THE DISAPPOINTMENT GETTING BACK WOULD BE MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU HAVE EXPECTED!!"
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cheer up!!
headed kbox with caiting, tinghui, eileen and suetni.haha... fun fun! though there was only the few of us, but we did enjoy ourselves...after singing, met up with hamizah to have our dinner. ate delifrance and was so full... after eating finish, while paying for our bill, ivan came to meet us to go shopping. but eileen and me didn't join in cos i am having camp tml so have to reach home early to pack my bag. haha...but till now my bag is not packed yet. i am just so lazy to pack cos it's like so messy lah...can predict that i will be leaving out something not bringing there. haha...but hope this four days can pass fast fast...i am seriously not looking forward to it at all...haiz!!
lifes are full of ups and downs and i believe that we will be experiencing all these once in a lifetime... so just get all over it and enjoy lifes at all times... wat happen yesterday was just some downs. hope everything will be fine soon! i am not going to waste my energy getting upset over it!!
"GRATEFUL HAVING YOU ALL IN MY LIFE..."
1:14 AM
complicated feelings~~
went for haircut with gen and huiyun just now. actually looks quite the same as before except that the person helped me to blow straight. haha... spent $14 and dad was complaining that he don't see much different in me cutting my hair cos there was not much different in my hair length. haiz...that wasn't the first time that he is saying this. hahaha.... i seriously think that i am going to be dead broke this week. dad gave me $40 for this week allowance and now i think i am left with 10 dollars plus. OMG!! i also don't know where i have spent my money into. can't imagine how am i going to survive with so few money. pray hard that i can get more money from dad though i know that he would be nagging once again..haha...
wei xiao pasta episode 12 is finally out..watched finish already and i think that it is real nice!! can't wait for the episode 13... i like zhang dong liang alots!! hahaha...
"NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, LIFE STILL GOES ON...SO WHY NOT ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE..."
10:37 PM
the ultimate you!!
yesterday had practices from 10am-4pm. is so tiring lor... haha...cos i slept at 2am at the previous night and still have to wake up at 7.30am the next day so went to school feeling so sleepy. it's one of the most scary practice that i have cos the instructor was there. his face is like so fierce and when he asked us to go out to tune our violins one by one, our hearts is like beating so fast lah..so worry! then jiaxue is so funny to say that be careful when going out, don't fall down leh...haha...actually i was also worrying about this when it was going to be my turn...LOL! so after tuning, he told us to play the finger exercise and the atmosphere there was really scary and i did fake through during some of the parts cos i really cannot follow up when he asked us to play fast. haiz! tuesday going back again and the other instructor will be there. arghhh...the practice days is like adding up cos the time of staying in school is more than the time i am staying at home.
i like the song ''believe'' from the jap drama overtime... so nice lah! can listen until cry. haha... so touching when i first heard it...is really really niceeee...guess this will be the first song that i will be playing recently when i on my lappy...hahaha...
"I BELIEVE SOMEDAY I WILL LOVE SOMEONE WHO'S BY MY SIDE, OR SOMEDAY MY SPECIAL ONE WILL COME ALONE, I'LL PRAY EVERYDAY!!"
10:31 PM
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